Two Refuseniks

Two refuseniks from the Reserves are waiting their turn for disciplinary hearings before the Commander in Chief of the United States Armed Forces, President George W. Bush. One is looking despondent, the other, wearing the insignia of the 372nd, has a smug grin on his face.

"Why are you smiling?" asked the despondent one.

"I have an iron-clad defense. I know that I'm going to walk away from this scot-free," said the happy one.

"Do you have a disease?"

"No -- do I look like I have a disease?"

"Do you have a relative with inside connections?"

"No, not a one."

"Did you pay somebody off?"

"No -- and would you please stop insulting the integrity of our government like that."

"What is it, then? How can you be so confident?"

"The Army stopped using my model of dildo."