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Wit and Wisdom for a One Party State

A handbook for government by wishful thinking

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Culture, n. The standards of offensive behavior shared by members of a community.

Top Secret, adj.  Belonging to the special category of information that serves policy formulation in much the same way that a wet dream serves the process of human reproduction.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Contradiction, n. The essential precondition for a concensus.

2009 B OBAMA 15 May "This is the best way to protect our country, while upholding our deeply held values."

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Leader, n. The member of any group, large or small, that has the most intense desire for safety in numbers.

2008 GW BUSH "The leaders gathered together in Washington this weekend are all working together. We’re in this together, we will come through this together."

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Snark, n. A mythical creature, within which the spirit of common sense takes refuge after being slain by circumstance.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Incoherence, n. A debilitating virus that spreads by oral transmission.
2008 Sarah Palin staffer 1 Oct. "We're going to be continue to put her in settings where she has an opportunity to shine, to be on offense. We've gotten very good feedback from the public from Hugh Hewitt interview."

Monday, September 29, 2008

Enemy, n. Us.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Partisanship, n. The instinctive reaction of a legislative body to the mortal threat of universal concensus.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Free rider n. The fifth horseman of the Apocalypse.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Price, n. Of private purchases,what the market will bear. Of purchases by the State, what the market won't bear.

2008 P KRUGMAN 24 Sep. "So I just did a Nexis search trying to find out when Paulson and Bernanke started talking about price discovery, which we’re now told [is] at the core of the plan’s logic. And the answer is … Yesterday."
1972 B BARKER 4 Sep. "Oh, my, thank you, thank you so much, welcome to 'The New Price is Right'; and let me assure you fans of the old 'Price is Right' that this is your favorite game still based on the pricing of merchandise with wonderful awards for smart shoppers. We call it 'The New Price is Right' because we have some exciting new games that you will enjoy right there at home with our studio audience, and we're going to get that first game going right now. Here's the first item up for bids on 'The New Price is Right'."

Balance, n. The careful stewardship that assures a ship will sink in an upright position.

2008 H PAULSON 23 Mar. "The objective here is to get the balance right. Regulation needs to catch up with innovation and help restore investor confidence but not go so far as to create new problems, make our markets less efficient or cut off credit to those who need it."

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Exceptionalism, n. Delusions of difference.

2008 S CALABRESI via NYT 16 Sep. "Those of us concerned about citation of foreign law — your article quotes me as one of them — believe in something called American exceptionalism, which holds that the United States is a beacon of liberty, democracy and equality of opportunity to the rest of the world."
Rumsfeld v. Padilla, 542 U.S. 426 (2004) "The Court rejects additional arguments made by the dissent in support of the mistaken view that exceptions exist to the immediate custodian and district of confinement rules whenever exceptional, special, or unusual cases arise."
2008 US SUPREME COURT via LEXIS 21 Sep. "No documents were found for your search terms: 'exceptionalism'"
2008 DISCOVER THE BOOK 25 Aug. "Beware of the problem of exceptionism, which make me think my life is an exception to God’s Word. Thus I can excuse myself from doing anything for Heaven because of my past, or my pain, or my poverty, or my poor self-image. The problem of exceptionism can erase Christ's well done. Remember Annanias and Saphira."

Desperation, n. The last refuge of patriots.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Lie, v. To float an outlier in the marketplace of ideas.

1899 A BIERCE "I am relating these things exactly as they occurred. It would be very easy to make a fine story out of all this material --to tell how that, while I was engaged in lightening the ship, I was touched by the self-sacrificing spirit of a beautiful young woman, who, to save the life of her lover, pushed her aged mother forward to where I was operating, imploring me to take the old lady, but spare, O, spare her dear Henry. I might go on to set forth how that I not only did take the old lady, as requested, but immediately seized dear Henry, and sent him flying as far as I could to leeward, having first broken his back across the rail and pulled a double-fistful of his hair out. I might proceed to state that, feeling appeased, I then stole the long boat and taking the beautiful maiden pulled away from the ill-fated ship to the church of St. Massaker, Fiji, where we were united by a knot that I afterward untied with my teeth by eating her. But, in truth, nothing of all this occurred, and I can not afford to be the first writer to lie just to interest the reader."

Long run, n. The approximate period of time required for a President and his Treasury Secretary to flee the jurisdiction.

2008 GW BUSH 19 Sep. "In the long run, Americans have good reason to be confident in our economic strength."
1923 JM KEYNES "Long run is a misleading guide to current affairs. In the long run we are all dead. Economists set themselves too easy, too useless a task if in tempestuous seasons they can only tell us that when the storm is past the ocean is flat again."