Machine, n. In politics, a mechanism that provides a deserving public with the best of all possible electoral results.

Triumphalism, n. Unrequited cowardice.

Armor, n. Any covering that raises the abject fear threshold of the modern soldier, thereby enabling his commanders to realize more fully their potential for reckless stupidity.

Mandate, n. In a democracy, the authority to govern, which flows naturally from the fact that 100% of the electorate believe that things will be much better at the end of the government's term in office.

Patriotism, n. A willingness to sacrifice everything for one's country and what it stands for, including one's country and what it stands for.

Garbage, n. The principle effluent of consumer satisfaction.

Election, n. A multiple choice examination which the electorate excuse themselves for repeatedly failing, on the grounds that it must have consisted entirely of wrong answers.